For today's Wacky Wednesday, I thought I would give my redneck opinion of a man clearly on the edge of a severe meltdown. Poor Mel Gibson obviously needs some anger management classes and some sort of cocktail mixed with the likes of Xanax, Valium and Prozac.
Following is a transcript of a rant by Mel Gibson to screenwriter Joe Eszterhas in Costa Rica. It was recorded by Eszterhas' son Nick in December and obtained by The Wrap.
(Editor's Note: This transcript contains highly offensive language)
Mel – (screaming the whole time)
Why don’t I have a first draft of "The "Maccabees"?
What the fuck have you been doing?
I’ll type it!
— mumbling inaudible —
— mumbling inaudible —
I go to work, you’re getting paid, I’m not! Shit!
I am earning money for a filthy little cocksucker who takes advantage of me!
Just like every motherfucker!
So hurry the fuck up!
(Throwing things, knocking down the totem pole)
(Coming up from the billiard room and approaching the table and screaming at the top of his lungs in the face of his guests)
Who wants to eat?! Who the fuck wants to eat?! Go have something to eat! Hurrrrraaaaayyyyyy!
Fucking cunt cocksucker whore!
(Screaming as he runs toward the driveway, gets into his car and drives away)
WHOO WEE, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed now didn't they? But folks, ya gotta give Mel credit for using the "f bomb" in the most creative fashion possible. I believe he uses the "f bomb" as pretty much every part of speech, except as an adverb in his meltdown. Guess it would be pretty difficult to use the word "fuckly", or "fuckingly" in a tantrum of that sort. Maybe if it wasn't so off the cuff, he would have enlightened us with an imaginative adverb or two.
Here is a recent picture of Mel at his latest movie premiere. Is it just me, or does Mel have the crazed look in his eyes? Ya know that look people get right before the tirade that ends up with the men in the white suits comin' at ya with the big hypodermic needle and a straight jacket? Whether it's a rant about race, Jews, or his ex girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, it's becoming clear that Mel might need a little time away for "personal issues or exhaustion" as the publicists like to say. I'm thinkin' his BFF Jodie Foster might want to schedule an intervention before ol' Mel hurts somebody. Seriously, if one of my good friends was actin' like that, I would bitch slap her and tell her what an asshole she's being. If there was still danger, it's intervention time with Dr. Drew baby, and I get first dibs on that hottie!!!!!
It just doesn't seem like the guy who was once hailed as "The Sexiest Man Alive" is gonna win any popularity contests anytime soon. Maybe what Mel needs is just a good ol' fashioned ass whoopin'. How about puttin' him in a rubber room with wacko Charlie Sheen when that "winner" goes on a bender and see who comes out still standin'? Charlie's got youth and tiger blood on his side, but Mel's got experience and some kick ass moves from his action flick days. Pretty fair fight I would think.