Friday, April 13, 2012

Finding My Funny!

As some of you know, when I started writing this blog 5 short months ago, I did so in response to many people who told me they thought my Facebook posts were really funny. Several friends then told me what a blog was, and that they thought I could expand upon "the funny" via the blogosphere. My goal has always been to spread joy to you folks through my warped and wacky sense of humor. Hopefully you found some gut busting laughs along the way.

Now I gotta keep it real for ya here people. I never really thought of myself as funny. In fact, there were times in my life when I was a mean, hateful bitch, times when I was a lost, depressed soul, and times when I felt no emotions whatsoever. But magically, as I'm approaching the BIG 5-0, with wrinkles on my face that can thankfully be minimized with the help of Botox every 3 months, gray hair that needs attention every 5 weeks, cellulite on my thighs that looks like a container of cottage cheese, and tits that fall down to my waist when I take off my bra, I found true, sustainable joy in the simple pleasures of everyday life. Along with that joy at my ripe old age, came the funny. Today, I thought I would share with you some of my tricks that helped me find real joy, just in case any of you are still searching.

Now before I begin, I am making this disclaimer right now: I have no formal training in the happiness business. I'm just a redneck chick who's been unhappy, had anger management problems and depression issues. Been there, done that, don't wanna do it again. I will give credit to people and quotes along the way, but basically ya gotta take any advice you receive and tailor it to your own individual circumstances. Life ain't a set of cookie cutters folks. That's why there's chocolate, vanilla and strawberry!!!!!

1.  YOU, and ONLY YOU, can make the decision to be happy. Yeppers, my awesome friend Grayson, who also happens to be a therapist, drilled this into my head many, many nights at local watering holes. You can allow other people or circumstances to dictate the way you feel, or you can put on your big boy or big girl panties and basically say, "Fuck it, I'M in control of my life and I CHOOSE to be happy". HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE FOLKS!!!!!!!!! It's not just for the lucky few who scored big on a scratch off happiness lottery ticket. Happiness is right there in front of your very own eyelashes. All ya gotta do is CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!!!

2.  Learn to live by this declutter mantra: "Only surround yourself with people and things that bring you joy or add value to your life. Get rid of everything else". I read that in an issue of the Oprah magazine a couple of years ago, and believe me, when you start removing toxic people from your life, you will feel so incredibly free. Take stock of the people in your inner circle. Do they bring you real joy or add significant value to your life? If not, remove them from your life just like you would (hopefully) remove that pair of 1983 acid wash jeans from your closet. There is just no need to keep that junk in your life. And remember, the Facebook "defriend" button can become your new BEST friend!!!!!!! You don't have to read any of that toxic shit anymore. YEE HAH!!!!!! That garbage is dead and gone, just like you flipped on the garbage disposal.

3.  The V.I.P. party. I give my beautiful and amazing therapist (who I legitimately pay) credit for this gem. Think of your mind as having a V.I.P. party every single day, and you only have a certain number of coveted invitations to divvy out. Do you want to waste those invites on some jerk who pissed you off, or do you want to save those invites for people who bring you real joy? The point being, don't waste your precious mental energy thinking about people who just ain't worth your time like the fuckhead who cut you off in traffic this morning, or the ass wipe who ripped you off at the body shop. Save your gold plated invites for those people who really matter to you!!!!!

4.  The last one for today comes from my very dear elementary school friend Erin. She calls it the "Fuck You Bucket", and I think it's brilliant. When someone does you really wrong, instead of stewing about it, or plotting revenge (which can eat you up inside), imagine stuffing that person's sorry ass into a bucket labeled "Fuck You". Visualize them sitting in that stupid bucket, looking lame as hell, and you get to walk away. Just walk away. Fuck you and walk away. You are done with them. TOTALLY DONE. Finished!!!! Finito. Then you have the distinct pleasure of flushing that entire bucket down the toilet, and their ugly ass goes to sewer hell where it belongs with all of the other sloppy, stinky shit. Talk about lightening your load!!!! That one puts a spring in your step fo' sho!!!

Like I said, I obviously have no formal training in finding my funny or curing the world's ills. What I do know, is what worked for me, and I hope some of these tricks can be helpful to folks 'cause LAWD knows we all struggle with somethin'!!!!! If you find these tips interesting, I got more tidbits up my sleeve. I just wanna keep on keepin' it real for ya and hopefully puttin' a smile on your lovely faces. Now go share a laugh or two this weekend!!!

Images and Quotes Via Google Images


  1. I think you are totally qualified for dishing out happiness advice, you did it expertly! I could not agree with you more on each of your points. Getting rid of the people and things that take up your space, suck your will to live, and leave you feeling worse after dealing with them than before is key to getting your happy on! Can't bring me anything positive in my life? Be gone!!! I have good things to do and fun to have, get out of my way!

  2. you make me laugh AND make me happy! DANG!

  3. I love the idea of the 'fuck you bucket'. Total awesomeness. lol

  4. I'm going to use that Fuck you bucket this afternoon. That and thoughts of the liquor store at the end of the day will make for a Fabulous Friday!

    If you can make people laugh, you can dish out happiness advice.

  5. fuck you bucket... thats awesome!! Happy friday 13th enjoy being the weed at home and have an awesome weekend! :)

  6. I have never heard of a "Fuck you Bucket" before but I ♥ the idea!!

    Ironically enough, I wrote about laughter on my blog today too! Great minds think alike ;). (your post is waaaaay better than mine though.)

  7. I accept all of your advice except putting on big boy panties. I prefer pantaloons to keep my nuts well ventilated.

  8. Haha I think you rock the blogosphere with your funny! I like the bucket idea, but I think you know me well enough by now that I will call my bucket something nicer than that even though I could cram about a dozen people in one right now!

    Have a great weekend!

  9. There's nothing quite so healing or therapeutic as laughter, and it's fun as hell.

    I enjoy your blog so much because your humor is real--it’s clearly been enhanced by your difficult life experience. You’ve succeeded in wading through depression, unhappiness, anger management & whatever else--and you’ve managed to reach out to others, bringing them the smiles and laughter that often eluded you in the past. That makes you a very special person.

    And your tips? Perfect. Happiness is, indeed, a choice. :)

  10. Great blog!! I had a VIP party today and no one entered my bucket!!! Just wait til tomorrow!! Someone will surely fix that!!! LOL! I enjoyed reading this!!

  11. You may not have meant to be funny, but you crack me up!! Glad your facebook friends told you to create a blog ;)

  12. I love this as someone who is just learning to "find her funny" and one who loves a good pep talk!

    Similar to the VIP Party idea, my mentor once told me that all of our thoughts have to pay rent. If they don't pay you back by being positive, comforting, or inspiring, then let the eviction notices fly!

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