Monday, April 30, 2012
Fifty Shades of Redneck Recap
Now seriously, the book is about the beautiful, innocent, soon to be college graduate Anastasia Steele, who meets and falls in love with the insanely handsome, billionaire Christian Grey who just happens to have a penchant for some wildly kinky sex. Not just your regular run of the mill kinky sex, but all out S&M, dominant/submissive (BDSM) kind of shit. Ya know the kind where he's the boss, she does whatever he says, she can't look him in the eye, and she has to call him "Sir". If she messes up, he beats her ass- HARD!!!! And she's supposed to like it 'cause it's ALL for her pleasure for God's sake!!!
What I immediately found interesting was the fact that Anastasia was this 22 year old virgin who rarely, if ever, even kissed a boy, and the first time she gives Christian a blow job he gives her an "A" on her performance???? DAMN, I know her character was highly intelligent and she probably read "Fellatio For Dummies", but holy shit an "A" on her first ever blow job???? No gag reflex???? No throwing up on her first taste of salty semen???? I sure could have used some pointers from Anastasia in college while one of my friends taught me the art of giving a good BJ using a carrot in a local watering hole. Somehow that carrot really didn't prepare me for the real deal.
Now admittedly Christian is a bit of a control freak and can be quite the stalker, and I can understand why Ana gets pissed off at those parts of his personality. But hell, the guy buys her a set of first edition books, a new computer, designer clothes, a blackberry, a new Audi and first class airfare and she still has the audacity to feel like a ho. GET OVER YOURSELF CHICK!!!!! Every woman dreams about being Christian's ho and you want to complain???? Shit, with that kinda swag, Christian could blind fold me, tie me to the bed post, and beat my wrinkly ass with one of his riding crops and I would gladly say "Thank You Sir", and sincerely mean those three precious words.
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