Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Willard's 100 Club

I have been officially inducted into Willard Scott's 100 Club!!!! Today is my 100th blog post. A milestone for damn sure!!!!! Willard already put my picture on a Smucker's jar like all of the folks celebrating their 100th birthdays, so I know it's cause for a celebration!!! In my typical style I'll pop the cork on some champagne, pour me a Debosa, put on some classic rock, dance in my underwear, and shout out a big ol' WHOO HOO to all the poor neighbors who happen to be home. Problem is they will just think it's another typical day at my house. That redneck Deb is gettin' plastered again.

Now for all of you faithful readers, I thought I would do a "best of version" of Just Keepin' It Real, Folks' on this 100th post. First I wanted to link you to my all time favorite post. It was called "Ho Ho Ho Hobo" found here. I stalked a Hobo for days and then chased him down in my car while he was riding his bicycle just to get his picture. Now that's dedication!!!! I finally caught up with him at a local gas station and he was more than happy to oblige. You see, he looks EXACTLY like Santa Claus and I had this wacked out idea for a blog post starring this guy. Good thing the cave that houses my computer is right next to a bathroom because I peed a little when writing that post. I was literally laughing out loud so hard pounding on the computer keys that my family nearly committed me to the local mental facility that night.

And by a landslide, statistics show that my most popular post has been the one devoted to Steven Tyler and his MOOBS. That was posted in early January and people are still reading that one. I've reposted it again for your viewing pleasure. ENJOY!!!!!!!

Steven Tyler Ain't Got The MOVES, He's Got MOOBS!!!!!!


WHOA, there are some things that should NEVAH, EVAH be seen in the light of day, and folks, this is one of them!!!! Please remove all young children from the room while you are viewing this as my own kids had nightmares last night when they saw this picture. I completely understand if you need to go visit the porcelain God yourself right now.

YES FOLKS, it looks like Mr. Aerosmith has MAN BOOBS, or MOOBS, as they are more commonly referred to. Now in all honesty, I know plenty of women who would actually pay to have a rack like that. All he needs is a BRO. You know, one of those man bras that Kramer referred to in that classic Seinfeld episode. Steven's moobs look like they could use the help of an underwire, but damn, at his age that ain't nuthin'. After havin' two kids, my boobs have been headin' south for years- WAY south!!!!!! He has a decent chest so I'm thinkin' about a 38 B should do him about right. Can't you just see Steven Tyler shopping at Victoria's Secret for HIMSELF???? On second thought, I'm sure he has been doing that for years.

As for the camo banana hammock, I'm really at a loss for words. I would expect Steven to wear camouflage, and he does blend in nicely with the rocks. But no man really looks sexy in a speedo. There is just something about budgie smugglers that bring the sleaze factor up about 75%. It just reminds me of a group of screaming, liquored up women with dollar bills between their front teeth hoping for a sneak peak from a sweaty, coked up male dancer. Not that I've ever been in that group of women, but I've heard stories.

I AM afraid that poor Steven is going to end up on the cover of the next tabloid that does the big story entitled "Stars Without Makeup". WHEW, that guy sure does need some help from Mary Kay before his photo ops. Be that as it may, I'm still an Aerosmith fan. Put your clothes back on Steven, get a makeover and ROCK ON!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much folks for continuing to read my warped and wacky sense of humor. I realize my blog is only for the discriminating reader, but I hope I bring you joy and laughter, 'cause I sure do get lots of both from writing these bizarre and sometimes outlandish snippets of craziness.

17 comments:

  1. If it works for a dude with a face like that, I'd copy his style any day. Have you seen the chicks he gets?

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    1. Yea I just don't get it????? Can you imagine waking up next to that?????

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  2. Congrats Deb!

    100 is a lot. Have you gone back and looked at some of your older posts and thought "why on earth did I write that?"

    Also, was Moobs your favorite? It is sometimes disheartening that a post you really like doesn't get any creds, but one you threw together does. Not saying throw yours together, I just look at some of my more popular and think "who knew?"

    Grats again!
    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

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    1. Ho Ho Ho Hobo was MY favorite and no one found the humor in it but me. I laughed my ass off writing that one and literally stalked the guy for days to write that post. But yea, sometimes I "throw one together" and it is very well received. Maybe I should stop thinking so much.

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  3. congratulations! and now i am officially freaked out by steven tyler.

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  4. Ewwwww now I won't be able to listen to Aerosmith

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  5. Oh my goodness I totally spit my coffee laughing at this post. Good reason to waste coffee :)

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  6. Omg. I'm blind. BLIND!!! Not even your loud WHOO HOO could snap me out of it. LOL

    Congratulations on your milestone :)

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  7. Steven Tyler is hawt as hell, moobs or not ;) love the post and happy 100. :)

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  8. Hi Deb, stopping by from S30P.

    Congrats on 100 posts! Can't wait to read 100 more!

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  9. Wow. If there was ever a poster child for "do not do drugs" - it should be Steven Tyler.

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