Friday, March 16, 2012

That Greaser Guy

A couple of weeks ago at my son's JV baseball game, there was a kid on the other team who had a beard resembling Shaggy from Scooby Doo. My husband and I laughed our asses off because most of these 14-16 year old kids shave about once a month whether they need to or not. Our son couldn't grow a beard even if he didn't shave for a year!!!!! That bearded boy got me thinkin' about my own high school days. I'm sure all of you can relate to this. Wasn't there that one greaser guy growing up with you who had his driver's license in like 8th grade?

Yeppers, you know the type. He had a full beard when you were still in elementary school, wore plain white t-shirts and ratty old jeans to school every day. At first you thought he was really cool because he seemed "so worldly", but then you realized he flunked about 4 grades and actually should have graduated when your entire class just started middle school.

Well, I'm gonna call the greaser guy at my school "Buddy", because that name to me just signifies a bully, a greaser, a bad ass, and later on a jail bird. Buddy was all of the above. Buddy came from a large family and the kids always ran around town unattended. I was severely frightened of his older brother, and whenever he drove by, my friend Andrea and I would run and hide. One time during elementary school, Buddy pulled a thread on my skirt at recess, and he kept pulling and pulling and pulling until my entire skirt unraveled. I was literally standing there on the blacktop in my yellow underwear. My teacher quickly wrapped her sweater around my waist and I had to wear that sweater until my Dad arrived with a new outfit for me.

Now this folks was in the early 70's before MANY laws were enforced like they are today. My Dad busted through the doors of that school, into my classroom, and hollered at the top of his lungs, "BUDDY I'm gonna kick your fucking ass"!!!!!!!! WHEW, I can remember that plain as day folks!!!!! But, Buddy didn't even flinch. He didn't even bat an eye. Guess he was used to authority figures comin' to kick his ass. Thank God, the poor teacher held my Dad back because he was goin' for that boy's throat. Those were the good ol' days my friends.

However, that little incident must have pissed Buddy off though, 'cause Buddy did the unspeakable!!!! In the fourth grade, I was standing by a pole, minding my own business, in my favorite striped purple Danskin matching top and skirt when Buddy approached me. He said in his post puberty low voice, "Hey Debbie, you know there ain't no Santa Claus right? It's just your stupid parents". I stood there and cried my eyes out!!!! I'm talkin' buckets of tears. I couldn't believe it!!!!! NO ONE believed in the magic of Christmas more than me!!!!! My hopes and dreams just went up in smoke. He fucking ruined me for life. And all of this coming from a greaser who probably never even got a lump of coal in his dirty old stocking.

But as they say, Karma is a bitch. As we entered middle school, Buddy started getting into trouble with the law. There were a few shoplifting incidents, smoking on school property, and lots of fights. But then Buddy just sort of disappeared. Rumor had it, that he ended up in the stony lonesome after turnin' to hard crime. That will serve you right Buddy for tearing off an innocent little girl's skirt, and then ruining her one big dream she had left of Santa. I told Bubba and the boys to take REAL good care of ya in the slammer. Remember the soap gets awful slippy, so watch out behind ya!!!!! YOWZAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Images via: Google Images


  1. No santa? WTF?!! That shit ain't right. I think I may break some kids nose if he ever tells my kid that. I swear bully's are my worst nightmare in regards to my kid. I don't know what I will do if she ever tells me she's being bullied... Gawd! That sucks lady ::hugs:: if you need em ;)

  2. Karma always comes back on those types of people. Sadly, they can't comprehend why their life is they way it is.

  3. Oh boy...this really brought back memories. I had a "Buddy" in my young life too--when I was in grade school. I suppose many of us do. I remember the day my dad shoved him up against a brick wall, then yanked him up off his feet by his shirt and, through clenched teeth, warned him never to bother me again.

    He never did.

    Now for a truly sad, terrible, awful, embarrassing, twisted & entirely mortifying confession: I had a secret crush on Buddy. :-o