Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The King of Free Loaders

Welcome to another edition of Wacky Wednesday folks, and today I've got a doozy for ya!!! If you had a sweet deal livin' off the government, how far would you go to protect your free pass? Nobody really wants to earn an honest living do they? I mean it's SO much easier to be a free loader these days. Just ask 56 year old, long term unemployed, Hans Url from Austria.


When Mr. Url got word that his unemployment benefits were about to get cut off, he cuts off his own foot. Yeppers, you heard that right. That crazy bastard cranked up his power saw and severed his foot above his ankle. WHOO WEE, sure hope he chugged a 12 pack of Bock or Hefeweizen before he plugged in that power tool, 'cause holy shit ya gotta have some liquid courage before goin' to that extreme. LAWD, he gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "desperate times call for desperate measures".

Then just to be sure that the doctors couldn't reattach his foot, Mr. Freeloader tosses his foot into this oven and burns it up. DAMN, now that is a man on a mission to keep his benefits a comin'. Can't you just see him bleeding profusely and chanting about his desire not to go back to the productive work force: "Hell No, I Won't Go, Hell No, I Won't Go"!!!!!!! And when that dude sets his mind to somethin', he gits 'er dun!!!!!!! Hans sure gets my vote for the King of Freeloaders. Anybody willing to almost bleed to death on the way to the hospital just to get out of going back to work is one determined mother fuckin' freeloader!!!


What started out looking like an ordinary Halloween decoration, ended up looking like a platter of charbroiled fried chicken. At least Mr. Url accomplished his goal of making reattachment impossible. However, the job center staff has now informed him that his new disability may not automatically rule him out of work. Once the King of Freeloaders is released from the hospital he will be reassessed to determine what types of jobs he is qualified for. I'm thinkin' the dude would be a stellar employee at his local sawmill. He's obviously very proficient at using a power saw, so put his skills to good use. Or if surgeons need help in the operating room with amputations, he's definitely the man!!!! Experience counts ya know. Of course the guy can also work an oven pretty well, and I hear crematories are always lookin' for someone to light the match on the big ass furnace. You don't need two good feet to light a fire baby!!!!! 

Images: Here and Google Images

9 comments:

  1. Haha! I read about it on DIGG this morning and I was thinking that this can't be real, but if it is on your blog then it must be true!

    I can't even imagine how painful that was for him and then to be able to burn it while bleeding to death. Wow!

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  2. Wow, work really doesn't look so bad when you realize what this dude went through to avoid it! Just work dude, it's OK. Really!

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  3. I really really like you :) this was great!

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  4. I am soo glad I don't eat meat.

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  5. Well, it certainly adds a whole new meaning to keeping your feet to the fire, doesn't it?

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  6. Well he's got determination, I'll give him that much!

    Too bad he doesn't apply it toward earning his keep...

    Pearl

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  7. LOL The extent that everything was taken to is GREAT. I cracked up!! You always make me laugh :)

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  8. Well, his unemployment checks just aren't enough to keep in the lifestyle to which he is accustomed, so when they shut off his heat and needed another log in the fire.... (yes, I know that doesn't explain the electricity for the saw...why just you question my genius?

    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

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