Yesterday I wrote a post about me breaking all kinds of laws across this great nation of ours after reading @DumbestLaws on Twitter, a site where they claim all of the laws that they print are completely real. Today I thought I would comment on some other dumb ass laws around the nation. Like I told ya yesterday, if you find yourself in a heap of trouble and realize you are also a fugitive, come on the lam with me. Canada is a really nice country and I make a pretty good traveling companion.
The state constitution in Florida sure is interesting. It allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages. Guess that's Snooki's get outta jail free card so long as she's preggers huh?
Did you know that in Seattle, Washington you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length? I don't think anyone really has to worry about that unless you are the same height as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Uh Yea, I doubt many folks are carrying huge ass bazookas around in their pockets or under their trench coats.
Help me understand folks how in Alabama, men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail????? HUH???? Wouldn't that seriously make just about every male in The Heart of Dixie a convict? Pretty much every dude has deflowered a virgin at some point right??? I'm confused by that one.
Now in Missouri a man must have a permit to shave. Guess they like their men lookin' like Grizzly Adams out there in The Show Me State. And in Kentucky a person must take a bath once a year. I don't see why if you aren't dirty and stinky. Seems like a waste of our precious water resources to me. Back in crazy Florida again, it is considered an offense to shower naked. Like I said, I'm just stayin' clear of The Sunshine State 'cause the last time I showered fully clothed it wasn't purty!!!!!!
After reading all of these dumb ass laws, one thing is for damn sure. I could NEVAH, EVAH live in the state of Massachusetts where a woman can not be on top in sexual activities. MY GAWD, I WOULD NEVAH HAVE AN ORGASM AGAIN!!!!!!!! All the more reason to be a sex offender and OWN IT BABY!!!!!!!!
Thanks again to my friend Heather for informing me of this entertaining site.
Images via Google Images