Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Dirty Money

It's Wacky Wednesday again folks, and today I went all the way to the land down under to bring you this wacky story. First of all, I must say that the World News Australia is just so polite with their headlines. "Bikie charged after being found with cash wedged in buttocks". I literally can not stop laughing at that. Those mates down under are just so nice!!! Since y'all know I'm a straight shootin' redneck, I'll keep it real for ya. That translates to a biker dude was arrested for stuffing drug money up his ass.

Two members of the Rebels outlaw motorcycle gang were arrested in Sydney after officers pulled over and searched their Lexus. The popo found 300 Ecstasy pills, $22,000 of cash inside the vehicle, and a whopping $3,400 in cash concealed in one of the dude's ass cracks. DAMN, that guy must have a huge fucking ass to be able to stuff that amount of cash inside his crack. As my Dad always says about a big butt, "when someone tells him to haul ass he's gonna need to make two trips."!!! Either that, or the dude's crack is as wide as the Grand Canyon. And can you just imagine how hilarious that must have been as the law dogs are chasing the bikers' car, and the one "bikie" is pulling down his pants and stuffing the money inside his ass??? Hey mate, does this bulge in my buttocks make me look fat??? No mate, you can hardly tell, except for the $20 hanging out over your undies. Yo matie, when I sit down I feel like I have a load in my pants. LAWD, it's like a scene straight out of a Crocodile Dundee meets Eddie Murphy movie.

And seriously, you can make that much money selling Ecstasy??? Shit, I need to rethink my entire career agenda. Sure there are risks involved, but what high powered career doesn't include a few risks? And women have a distinct advantage with this drug dealing business. We have TWO holes in which we can conceal contraband. FINALLY, a career where women can succeed over men!!!! 

Well, the coppers sure did find a pile of cash when they pulled over these dudes. And the Aussies even have polite names for the charges against the bikies. Among other things, the one dude was charged with "recklessly dealing with the proceeds of crime". I suppose that means skid marks on the cash makes bagging the evidence a damn nasty job. Yeppers, that gives dirty money a whole new meaning folks!!!!!

Thanks so much to my friend and faithful reader Denise who hooked me up with this story.  


  1. I don't know which is funnier, the scenario or your translation of the scenario!! The "skid marks on the cash" comment really just topped it for me! Hilarious!

  2. OK when I first read that headline,I did't get that it meant he stuffed money down his bunghole....and then I realized I thought it said CRASH instead of CASH. I read good. reeeeeeeeal good. Thank you California education.

  3. If I'd been sipping my drink before I read the "skid marks" part, I'd be cleaning the computer screen now.

  4. Apparently E's where the $$ is at!! LOL! Too bad I chose accounting...haha

  5. They say an extremely large percentage of American money has traces of cocaine on it...I guess in Australia, it's crack...ass crack. Hilarious post.

  6. I think they Aussie cops are profiling poor little "bikies" . I'm sure other people over there walk around with illegal stuff in their asses too. What do "bikies" call that anyway.... ATM'ing?

  7. Oh my GOD, that is absolutely hilarious! Talk about dirty money! LOL

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