Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Human Hourglass

It's Wacky Wednesday folks and I'm just havin' a HARD time believin' this chick is for real. Call me a cynic, but either she is a Barbie doll come to life, or she is lyin' to all of us about how her figure looks this way.


Her name is Ioana Spangenberg, the 32 year old Romanian model who boasts a 20 inch waist, and who is being dubbed the "human hourglass". DAMN, I've eaten cheeseburgers larger than that!!!!!! Ms. Spangenberg is about 5'7" and weighs 85 pounds, but insists she eats 3 meals a day including pizza, sausage, Mars bars, potatoes, and kebabs. The skinny bitch even goes so far as to claim she just has a small stomach, akin to a natural gastric band, and gets sick if she eats too much. Yea lady and I just had a threesome with Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Come on, who in their right mind believes that shit?????

Some people are blessed with cranked up metabolisms. Perhaps Ioana is one of those lucky ones. However, I kinda doubt that just a revved up metabolism would allow a grown woman to weigh just 85 pounds. Most normal girls weigh that in about 4th grade before puberty. Yeppers, it's lookin' like the classic eating disorder to me. Now she might in fact partake in pizza, Mars bars and kebabs, but I would bet my bottom dollar that those tasty morsels end up in the porcelain God before they are even digested. And folks, do you really think that teensy, weensy waist is natural, rather than the result of some sort of surgical intervention, or from years of being squeezed inside a corset? 

Now tell me how in the hell all of her internal organs fit into that tiny little compartment??? They must be shouting at each other for some space. Can't you just hear her kidneys yelling at her large intestine,"Hey, move your load of shit, you're squeezing the piss out of us". Somethin's gotta give folks, and I would hate to be in firing range when those organs decide to break out their inner Twisted Sister, "We're not gonna take it, we're not gonna take it, we're not gonna take it ANYMORE"!!!!! KABOOM, body fluids everywhere!!!!!!!!!!    

Image via: http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/model-shows-off-super-tiny-20-inch-waist.html

7 comments:

  1. lawdy... My daughter is like 20 lbs shy her weight and she's only 8. Girl can eat like no other though, bout as much as Ioana here. I'd beat some ASS on eating disorders though! That is just crazy and girl you made me LOL. Bout spit my coffee all over the computer screen Thanks!

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  2. Yuck. I hate how skinny is considered by some to be sexy. What happened to full figured women like Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page, and such? They'd be considered plus size now!

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  3. 20 inch waist, my ass! That's not even possible... It's like you said, unless she has been squeezing her body inside a corset throughout her entire life or if she has had some kind of surgery,it isn't possible for her to have it! It's not natural.

    Besides, what is the media doing? Getting young girls to believe this is how they should look... they should be ashamed! This is completely unhealthy.

    Sorry, this kind of thing really pisses me off

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