Saturday, February 4, 2012
The other day I was riding the stationary bike and a guy was on the treadmill beside me running backwards. Now I have seen people walking backwards on a treadmill, but never running. I was laughing out loud because he looked so flipping ridiculous that I'm sure everyone thought I was schizophrenic laughing to myself. I was just waiting for him to fall and bust his ass because he had to keep stopping and putting his hands on the sides of the treadmill to steady himself. What in the hell was he trying to prove?????? Then there's this certain chick who wears big ol' sunglasses to the gym to workout. She either thinks she's a movie star, or she's the victim of domestic violence. I ain't never seen her in any movies, so I don't know what's goin' on with her, but she lets those sunglasses slide down her nose while she's on the elliptical and I don't see any black eyes either. Maybe she's just hiding from the world. And the girls who wear full face makeup to the gym to attract men are just a hoot. As much as I sweat, if I wore makeup to the gym, I would be looking like some sort of scary movie gone horribly wrong!!!!
Oh and ya gotta love the personal trainers who stare at themselves in the full length mirrors rather than pay attention to their clients. And the steroid kings with their massive muscles and blown out veins. Those people just crack me up. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, scares me more than this one personal trainer I will call "Helga". She is this giant German looking shemale who sits on her fat ass and barks orders at her clients. First of all, I don't know how she has any clients, because who in the hell would want to aspire to look like a female who could lift a Volkswagen?????? She literally sits on one of those giant exercise balls and yells at her clients to lunge, squat, go deeper, bend forward, or give me 10 more. Then when she finally musters up the strength to get up, you can hear the ball give out a sigh of relief.
Whew, now I'm primed and ready to go have a few laughs at the gym on a Saturday morning. If Helga comes after me, I might be forced to run backwards on the treadmill.