Sunday, February 12, 2012

Boobylicious!!!!!

Some folks hold Guinness book of world records for things like the world's longest ear hair, the world's tallest cactus, the most Starbucks visited by a single person, or the longest distance traveled on a handstand. But by personal favorite is Sheyla Hershey, the 32 year old model who is ACTUALLY holding her assets in the picture above that are her claim to fame. Yeppers, Ms. Hershey holds the Guinness book of world records for the largest breast implants at a size 38KKK.  I wonder if that makes her an honorary member of the KKK???????????? Somehow I doubt those robes would fit over her massive gazongas.

Now Sheyla's bazookas ain't just for looks, they actually helped to save her life!!! When she was driving home from a Super Bowl party, she crashed her Mustang into a tree, but she miraculously walked away from the accident when her breasts acted as an airbag shielding the rest of her body from harm. Ladies, if that doesn't inspire you to rush out to your nearest plastic surgeon and get implants the size of the Goodyear blimp I don't know what will. I'm going to suggest to my husband's plastic surgery office that they get a new marketing campaign ASAP. Perhaps something like - You can't trust airbags, but Implants SAVE lives!!!!!!

Believe it or not, Sheyla used to boast a 38MMM until a life threatening infection caused her to lose those implants. These new implants have made her feel "almost whole again" because she is obsessed with maintaining her world record status. She even told The Sun newspaper, "once I reclaim my identity as the world's biggest boobs, I can be a better role model for my daughter". I know her daughter is going to be so proud of her Momma when she's on the playground and tells all of the other kids, "My Momma holds the world record for the largest pair of Ben and Jerry's". When all the kids come over expecting free ice cream, but all they see are giant melons, that poor kid is going to lose friends real damn quick. Who wants fruit when you are expecting ice cream??????

 Now I'm quite certain there is another reason Ms. Hershey has decided to have such large chumbawumbas. You see, I believe those ta ta's are the perfect hiding place for all sorts of things. She can run contraband to and from from her native Brazil, she can smuggle illegal aliens back and forth over the Mexican border, and she can offer a damn good hiding place during a game of hide and seek!!!!! But I prefer to think that with a last name like Hershey, that Milton Hershey's secret chocolate recipes are wrapped up and safely tucked away in her milk jugs somewhere. After all, milk is one of the prime ingredients in Hershey's chocolate. Hiding the secret recipe in Hershey's milk jugs. What a play on words. That Milton guy was a pure genius!!!!!

A special thank you goes out to my friend Erika who gave me the tip on this story. I love when people see things and immediately think they are blog worthy.

Image via: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098909/Huge-breasted-model-31-walks-away-horror-crash-38KKK-chest-acts-airbag.html

5 comments:

  1. I'm thinking that by the age of 55, she'll need a backbrace and a walker. I wonder if she'll still think it's worthwhile when her mobility suffers.

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  2. First of all, she has kids??????? Yikes.

    Secondly, those are some massive hooters. Why is she holding them like she is in the first picture? I have pretty large boobies myself, but I don't go around caressing and cradling them like I would a household pet.

    Lastly, if your entire identity is caught up in the size of your fake boobs......OY.

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  3. I just like boobs that LOOK RIGHT on a person. I don't care if you're sportin' A's or DD's, as long as it fits the frame.

    For example, my ex wife had D's, and I always thought I was a 'big boob' man, until my current girlfriend. She has A/B's and I love them.

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  4. Well Deb too funny. Now I thought I had big boobs. She takes the cake. Thought my boobs were big when ur laying in bed n u yell get off get off n u realize it's u pinching them. Haha really happened to me. She can have those big boob hoping to get rid of mine someday soon.

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