Thursday, January 26, 2012

Whip-It, Whip-It Good!!!

So Demi Moore is hospitalized for "exhaustion" huh? Is that even a real medical diagnosis, 'cause I don't think my Blue Cross/Blue Shield medical insurance covers that? Damn, if it does I'm checkin' in too!!!! Think of that cushy treatment. A few shots of Vitamin B, a mandatory rest period, then crank you up with green tea and ginseng (also known as caffeine) and you are good to go!!!

Publicists just crack me up. How stupid do they think we really are????? Uh, I really don't think it's called exhaustion folks. Demi has been literally wasting away before our eyes for months, reports of her excessive partying have been all over the news, and now it seems as if she was actually rushed to the hospital after experiencing seizure like symptoms from inhaling nitrous oxide. Apparently this is a cheap thrill called a whip-it, which is uncommon in Demi's age group and social status. I guess poor Demi and her problems with Ashton truly turned her life into that famous Devo song. "When a problem comes along, you must whip it, before the cream sets out too long, you must whip it, when something's goin' wrong, you must whip it, I say whip it, whip it good"!!!!!

Now I could really believe the exhaustion part if there was no trouble in paradise between Demi and Ashton. Seriously, it must be completely exhausting to have a face and body that not only never ages, but actually gets hotter and more beautiful with every passing year. Think of the maintenance that it takes for near genetic perfection. I can't imagine how much Demi must have to work out, the constant dieting, master cleansing, dermatologists/plastic surgery visits etc. Then think of how exhausted she must be trying to please her man who is 15 years younger than her. Personally, that's the type of exhaustion I would gladly endure!!!! However, a middle aged woman can only take so much action, and obviously Ashton has a very healthy sexual appetite considering all his recent cheating escapades.

So, call it what you may, but I ain't buyin' it. This straight shootin' gal thinks poor Demi might be sufferin' from the ol' fashioned broken heart syndrome that led to excessive drinking, drugs, anorexia, and a bit of depression thrown in for good measure.

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