Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Treadmill to Hell

I've never been a gadget girl. In fact, I can barely figure out how to upload pictures to make this blog more interesting for all of you faithful readers. But I try the best I can. For Christmas, I asked Jeff for a new pair of pink ear buds to go with my ipod, circa 1990. For some bizarre reason, he thought I needed a new fangled ipod, when I was perfectly happy with my ancient relic. I really only listen to my ipod when I work out, and it is loaded with classic rock, 80's tunes and sprinkled with a few Disco hits. YES, I DID SAY DISCO!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I don't even know how to load songs on my ipod. It's not a skill that I even care to learn. If there's ever a current hit that I think is ipod worthy, I just tell my 16 year old son Conner to load it on there, and it magically appears somehow. I mean a girl's gotta have "Moves Like Jagger" on her ipod!!!!! But for some reason I decided to give this newcomer a shot. That required syncing the thing on the computer and checking off songs, things that make me sweat and require taking a Xanax. Conner was kind enough to help me through the process, but something went wrong, TERRIBLY wrong.

Yesterday as I was running on the treadmill, I used my new technology for the first time. I barely knew how to turn the sucker on, but I got rolling and things were OK, until the second song. I didn't recognize it but I kept on going thinking that was just a weird glitch. Then I got running at my fast pace and "Jungle Love" was playing by The Steve Miller Band. Aaaahhh cool, now we're back to normal. But then BAM, I was hit with a string of crazy ass songs that no one should EVAH have to hear in their entire life. I have included my all time favorite for you below.

Yes, imagine running to Wynona's Big Brown Beaver?????? Apparently that is sung by a group called Primus, who I never heard of, along with another classic hit, which is now on my ipod called "The Ol' Diamond Back Sturgeon". Whew, that's a keeper too!!!!! Lemme tell ya I sure was lovin' me some "Bulls on Parade" by Rage against the Machine. That just pumped me up to go the extra mile. Actually when my workout was over, I was thinking that if the treadmill really moved, I ran straight to hell 'cause if that ain't devil music I don't know what is!!!!!!

In case you're wondering how these masterpieces got onto my ipod, they are my hubby's twisted and grotesque music choices. Somehow, my song list got synced with his list, and now I have all of his deranged music on my ipod. Now you know why I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I also think a song I now proudly have on my ipod explains Jeff's choice in music, and perhaps his mental health as well, since he actually chooses to listen to this shit. It's called "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed. 'Nuf Said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!