Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Motown and Mustangs

The other day my 16 year old son Conner and I were stopped at a traffic light and heard a booming noise in the car next to us. I turned down the stereo in my own car so we could receive the pleasure of whoever was jammin' out beside us, expecting to hear some rap or hip hop at max volume. Instead, it was a man of about 65, totally grey, with a cigarette hangin' out of his mouth, driving a fairly new white Mustang, and he sure as hell wasn't listenin' to anything we expected.

Conner looked at me in horror and asked, "WHAT IS THAT"??????? I replied, "That son is called vintage Motown". Diana Ross and The Supremes to be exact. Yea, picture a guy in a muscle car head bangin' to "You Can't Hurry Love". That's like a hook up between Bill Clinton and Sarah Palin. It just doesn't fit. I mean seriously, the guy may as well belly up to a biker bar and order some frozen concoction with a fruit skewer and an umbrella.

I feel fairly confident that I can speak about this subject. You see, I own that Mustang pictured above. Before we purchased that vehicle, I never really knew what a Mustang was, being more the Toyota SUV type. But, now I know for absolute certainty that a Mustang is the most f#!@ing redneck car on the planet!!!!! When I crank up that 300 horsepower engine and all of my surrounding neighbors can hear me, my shoulders broaden a bit, and my chest puffs out, and I'm here to tell ya I ain't in the mood for Motown. More like some George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" or Molly Hatchet's "Flirtin' with Disaster". There's just somethin' about that damn car that screams bad ass!!!!!

And the new friends I have made since I've owned that 'stang have been really cool. The guys with the rat tails and mullets have come out of the woodwork to tell me how awesome my car is. I'm quite certain they don't listen to Motown either in their muscle cars. So I'm thinkin' the dude in the white Mustang might want to trade that bad boy in for something more suitable to his music style. A Prius perhaps?