Thursday, January 12, 2012

Hostess with the Mostess

It's a sad day indeed when Hostess files bankruptcy for the second time in a decade. Apparently one of the biggest problems is health conscious Americans favoring yogurt and energy bars over those delicious dessert cakes and white bread. DAMN, last time I checked there was a shit load of obese people right here in the good ol' USA. They must be chowing the hell out of some energy bars!!!!!!

In my opinion, they would get more bang for their buck with good ol' fashioned Hostess products. I mean seriously folks, ya can't go wrong with Ding Dongs, Twinkies, Ho Ho's, Drakes Cakes, Sno Balls, Hostess fruit pies and Wonder bread. The real beauty of Twinkies is that there is virtually no expiration date. The shelf life is even longer than Joan Rivers' list of plastic surgery procedures. I read an article that describes Twinkies as cakes filled with unidentifiable sugary cream filling that never goes bad. See, now that is the shit you want to stock your shelves with in case of a nuclear attack!!!!!

When I was in college, I thought Hostess was part of the food pyramid. Ho Ho's, Ding Dongs
and the occasional Twinkie were definitely a food group as far as I was concerned. Unfortunately, my ass grew to the size of West Virginia, and I figured out pretty quickly why my boyfriend suffered some serious shrinkage in times of intimacy. Whenever he put his hand on my ever expanding thigh, the look of disgust on his face said it all. Meanwhile, I just reached for another Ho Ho, and thought damn it all to hell 'cause that chocolaty delight was givin' me MUCH more pleasure than he was!!!!!!!

Now the good news is that Hostess says it does not expect any disruptions in the delivery and sale of its products while in bankruptcy. So come on folks, let's help save this American icon. Do your part. Go out and buy those Hostess treats NOW!!!! Remember "the snack with the snack in the middle" will "give you a big delight in every bite".

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  1. And now Im starving...Thanks a lot ;) Seriously though, all of those are just AWESOME. So tasty and delicious, why would anyone choose an energy bar over that! Sugar from these delcious cakes will give you all the energy you need! :)) Yummmmm

  2. I eat and live pretty healthy in general, avoiding most of this junk. But I can admit this, if I thought Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho's and some of those other goodies were going to leave the shelves forever I would have to buy a box of each, and go nuts with a big fat freaky, processed crap kind of weekend.