Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Goin' to a Go Go!!!!!

DAMN, this story reminded me of that Rolling Stones song, "Going to a go go everybody, Going to a go go, It doesn't matter if you're black, It doesn't matter if you're white, Take a dollar fifty, A six pack of beer, And we goin' dance all night". And that's exactly what 6 year old Alana Holler does after she drinks her special concoction her mother June calls go-go juice. After being questioned today on Inside Edition, June, who should be awarded Mother of the Year, admitted that go-go juice is a mixture of Mt. Dew and Red Bull.

Let me tell ya folks, after seeing little Alana come alive after gulping a bottle of that liquid crack I'm convinced these toddlers and tiaras are forces to be reckoned with!!! That precious darlin' was spinnin' around on the floor like someone just wound the key on her back and let her go ape shit. She put the energizer bunny to shame. And to hear her talk is a real pleasure. Her speech is almost incoherent, so obviously that caffeine/sugar combination is doing wonders for her!!! But hey, it's all in the name of winning pageants, and that folks means EVERYTHING!!!!!! Let's drug up our kids and WIN at all costs. All of us parents should take a lesson from June. Whether your kids play sports, are competing in academics, music, art or whatever, give them a shot or two of this magic go-go juice to crank them up and watch them go hog wild. Personally I'm giving both my kids an IV filled with that special juice 'cause baseball season is starting for Conner and he damn well better hit a home run every game. Ryan is gearin' up for soccer and I want to see some headers go straight into that goal baby!!!!!!!

  Now how about Momma June pictured there? I can think of another reality show she might want to audition for, and it ain't the one she's currently on. If the The Biggest Loser is looking for contestants, her energy might be better served there than druggin' up her kid to win a beauty pageant. Just sayin'.

However, little Alana does say that she wants to win pageants to make money because "a dollar makes me holler honey boo boo". I think we can all see where little Alana may end up in a few years huh? If a dollar makes ya holler honey, just imagine the hollerin'  you can do after gettin' cranked up on that go-go juice and struttin' your stuff around a stripper pole. Little honey boo boo sounds like a rockin' hot stage name!!!!

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