Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I Want To Pump You Up!!!

Kasia Rivera, 34, has been placed under arrest, for illegally performing a penis enhancement without a licence

DAMN, how would you like that chick pointing a needle at you? Whew, I would run fur the hills. One 22 year old guy wasn't so lucky after she injected his penis with silicone hoping it would expand and blossom. Unfortunately, he died from complications. And another woman got her ass pumped full of cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant by another fake doctor in an attempt to get a curvier body. Big surprise, she suffered complications too, but was lucky enough to survive. Luckily both of those fake doctors were arrested.

Call me crazy, but anyone who goes to these "pumping parties" where untrained professionals are shooting people's bodies full of silicone kinda gotta know that this shit ain't safe. The old saying ya git whatcha pay fur is playing over and over in my head. Now I'm all about calling around and price shopping, but if the "doctor" you choose ain't in the yellow pages, ya might wanna keep on lookin'.

That being said, back in my lawyering days, I was involved in a case which was part of a class action lawsuit against a real licensed urologist who was performing penile enlargements. My client suffered severe complications from this surgery and almost had to have his penis amputated. This doctor seriously injured many guys with lasting effects. You talk about an awesome consultation. Thankfully, there were pictures and I didn't have to perform a personal examination of the injured party's injured member. That was definitely the highlight of my legal career!!!!!

I seriously doubt this type of pumping is what SNL had in mind when they coined the phrase, "I want to pump you up!"


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