Friday, December 30, 2011

The Hy-phen-at-ers

Time for me to rant and rave a bit. And yes, this is one of my opinionated posts where I may offend some folks, and I make no apologies for that 'cause I'm just keep in it real for ya!!!! I think it's stupid when people, male and female, take each others' last names and hyphenate them. You know like Susi Jones-Smith and her husband Jimmy Jones-Smith. Their children are named Sally Jones-Smith and Bobby Jones-Smith.

Now if that isn't damn ignorant enough, if Sally and Bobby want to keep the family tradition going, when they get married, they will have a 3 hyphenated last name. Yeppers, they will be Sally Jones-Smith-Lawson or Bobby Jones-Smith-Brown. But just think if one of them marries someone with a hyphenated last name. Holy God, now they have a 4 hyphenater like Bobby Jones-Smith-Brown-Wilson.

You see where I'm going with this. The poor kids already can't fit their names on the damn bubble sheets on standardized tests. How in the hell are they going to get accepted into college if their freakin' name doesn't even fit onto the SAT form????? Every generation is going to add a f#!@ing hyphenated last name. How would you like to be the kid on the first day of kindergarten whose name wraps around the whole damn hallway? Fifty generations later and that kid won't even be able to spell his last name until he graduates from high school.

You know if I was really sadistic I could have TORTURED the hell out of my kids and stuck them with my maiden name- Uffelman. No one could ever spell it or pronounce it. It was even misspelled on my high school diploma. They could be Conner and Ryan Uffelman-Church. Yea, a nice Pennsylvania Dutch-English combination there. Then think of the combos in future generations if someone married an Asian or a Russian. WHEW, those would be hyphenaters to be reckoned with!!!