Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Grey Needle in a Brunette Haystack

The other day one of my friends posted on facebook, "I just found my first grey hair, sniffle, sniffle". Now we are talkin' about a beautiful 40'ish woman here folks. I don't know about you, but I felt the old jealousy rise up in me when I read that post so much so that I wanted to scream, "ARE YOU FOR REAL, YOU F#@!ING BITCH"???????

Instead, I did what every good friend does and posted a nice simple reply that said, "Welcome to the land of the big girls, monthly hair appointments and budgeting for total grey coverage. I became a big girl when I was 17 and found my first grey hair. Wait until you find your first grey short and curly. Now that is something to cry over". Then I looked at my grey roots and temples that are in BAD need of a touch up and thought, SHIT, why did I get the genetic grey card?

You know people have all kinds of ways to "cover" their grey. People pluck, highlight, or go for the all over industrial strength hair dye. Grey hair on your head is one thing, but grey hair on other parts of your body just ain't pretty. I don't mind admitting that I have taken advantage of laser hair removal. It is THE BEST modern day invention and I highly recommend it to everybody-male and female!!!!

Many years ago I had my underarms lasered and my pits are smooth as a baby's bottom. No more 5 o'clock shadow. I rarely look at my underarms, other than to slap some deodorant on there, as they just aren't an issue anymore. However, one thing the laser does not kill is grey hair follicles. So, every now and then I will see a long crazy hair growing out of my pit and I'll be damned if it isn't a wild grey hair. If you haven't already, just wait until you pluck a grey hair outta your armpit and tell me how that makes you feel. REAL YOUNG AND SEXY LEMME TELL YA!!!!!!!

So far I haven't seen any crazy grey hairs sprouting from my legs which have been recently lasered. I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Now the pubic hairs are a discussion for an entirely separate blog. You may need a stiff drink while you read that one.