Wednesday, November 23, 2011

To Hell With Holiday Traditions (Well, Just This Once)

We all have them, those holiday traditions we hold so near and dear. Friends and family gathering for the holiday feast, making your Great-Grandmother's favorite recipe, getting out the fine china, hearing Grandpa farting on the couch. AAAAAAhhhhhh, the holidays............

My all time favorite holiday tradition is getting up on Thanksgiving morning and gearing up to address my scads of Christmas cards. As soon as the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade comes on, I pop the champagne and get ready for my first Debosa of the day. My good friend Vanessa coined the term "Debosa" for my fondness of a glass of champagne topped off with a splash of mimosa. I watch the parade from start to finish , knocking back Debosas, while addressing my cards. I always feel sorry for the folks in the middle of the alphabet because their label gets a bit slurred, and by the "R's, S's and W's" its amazing their card even gets delivered.

However, since we will be traveling this year for the first time in 26 years, I'm saying to Hell with tradition. If I'm not at home, where I have everything at my fingertips, I just ain't sending Christmas cards this year. OH, THE HORROR!!!!! Some things you just can't recreate somewhere else.

Now I know some of you on my Christmas card list will be downright broken up about this. I mean your holiday might be ruined without seeing the Church family smashed into our redneck mustang with the 5 foot singing Santa, or without seeing my kids wrapped up in a giant Christmas present on the beach. But hey, there's something to look forward to next year.