AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH the spa at the Grove Park Inn...... I had such an amazing experience yesterday enjoying all the amenities including the indoor pool, plunge pool, whirlpool, eucalyptus steam room, outdoor pool, and of course a couple glasses of vino. Whew, I was downright delirious when it was my actual appointment time. But alas, a handsome young thang named Jason came and fetched me for my mountain honey wrap.
Jason escorted me to a treatment room and explained that he was going to slough my body with a body brush, then rub my entire body with a mixture of corn meal and honey. Then after I showered, he was going to massage me with special body buttah. I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming, and then Jason looked at me in all seriousness and asked, "would you like me to do your abs and glutes as well"? WHOA, you mean you are actually asking permission whether your 20 something hands can slough, buff, and polish my dried up middle aged ass??????? The answer to that question Jason, is not only yes, it's F@!#ING HELL YES!!!!!!!!
Let me tell ya, Jason did not disappoint. Of course how could any woman of my age be disappointed when a young, handsome stud is rubbing her ass? For 90 glorious minutes I had the cougar fantasy locked up. Who cares that I was actually paying the dude. The fact remains the young guy was all mine for those 90 minutes. Now just imagine what that poor guy thought when he pulled back the sheet and saw my old, flabby, wrinkled ass. I think I heard a muffled scream, but hey, he chose this career and you gotta take the good, the bad, and the ugly.