Friday, November 18, 2011

The Griswolds Ain't Got Nuthin' On Me!

You can call me many things, but don't EVAH say I'm classy when it comes to Christmas decor. I will say the outside of our house is decorated tastefully (except for the fake Christmas presents from Big Lots I couldn't live without) for two reasons: 1. My husband draws the line on those big blow up things. No blow ups for any reason, for any season. (can you say Scrooge!) and 2. he says that too many outside lights are a fire hazard, which is man code for I'm too damn lazy to string all those lights together.

But, the inside of our house is MY domain and I leave no stone unturned. I literally have a piece of Christmas decor in every available space. In fact, my good friend Grayson calls my house "Kirkland's" during the holidays. For those of you who are unfamiliar with that store, it's a store that's packed to the gills with items on every shelf. That pretty much describes my house with tacky Christmas decor.

Take a gander at the 5 foot singing Santa at the left. Isn't he a beauty? When he starts singing his Christmas carols and swinging his hips you can't help but laugh your ass off!!! Some of my favorite items are pictured above. There's the shivering reindeer who seems like he's having an amazing orgasm but appears a bit embarrassed about it, the Rock and Roll Santa who sings Jingle Bell Rock 24/7 with a cute little gyration, and my all time favorite Disco Santa, who the general consensus thinks looks like he's masturbating. Look at that hand position. You should see him when he gets moving to "Funky Town". YEA BABY!!!! Hhhhhmmm, I see a theme here.......

Now if you need to use the rest room, you will LOVE to lift the Santa lid and hear the little jingle of his bell. There's just something about that jingle that makes you want to tinkle. And who wouldn't want to sleep under those twinkly lights at night? I mean how ultimate in tacky can you get!!!!!! Clark Griswold may take first prize in the tackiness award on the outdoor decor, but I'm here to give him a run for his money on the interior baby!!!!