So, yesterday my 16 year old son Conner had to get up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 am to get ready for an academic competition 2 hours away. He dresses in his Dad's suit and tie ('cause we don't buy those kinds of clothes for our kids) and I tell him how to get to the nearest Starbuck's for a quick caffeine buzz before the long bus ride.
This is the North Carolina Regional competition for the Health Occupations Students of America, and Conner is competing in the persuasive argument division. WHEW, try saying that 3 times fast. The topic is whether unhealthy food, such as fast food, should be taxed. Conner took the position that it should be taxed, being that he is 5' 11'' and weighs 145 lbs soaking wet. I HATE his metabolism!!!! He can eat whatevah he wants and never gain an ounce.
Conner is well prepared as he has researched his topic well and thoroughly practiced his oral argument. When Conner gets on the bus his academic advisor says "Conner let me see your paper". "Uh, what paper", "Your paper to support your argument". "You never told me I had to write a paper". OH SHIT!!!!!! So as soon as they get to the competition site, Conner asks where the computer lab is and bangs out a paper in record time.
There are hundreds of kids at this thing, but as luck would have it, the kids taking the opposing view against my skinny boy and saying fast food should not be taxed look like Fat Albert and Roseanne Barr before her gastric bypass. Conner kicks ass in the debate, but really, his paper sucked. The judges announced the top 10 winners. Hot Damn, Conner's name is announced. Then the countdown starts, 10, 9, 8..... You guessed it, my skinny boy takes 1st place and Roseanne Bar takes 2nd. Guess there is truth in advertising. Maybe they wanted a skinny boy to represent the tax and a portly person to represent no tax. Oh well, this Momma says, A WIN IS A WIN!!!!
And how does skinny boy celebrate his success? He stops at Taco Bell on the way home and tries one of their new triple steak stacks and said it was DEE-LICIOUS!!!!!!!