Friday, July 24, 2015

Feel Good Friday

Ladies, don't leave your drink unattended and stay away from those crazy ass 80's sweaters!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Happy National Somethin' Day!


How wacky is this in the good ol' USA?
Every day is National somethin' or other day.
Just go to www.daysoftheyear.com and peruse yourself.
Hell, I bet there's even a day for that Elf on a Shelf.
Some days there are 5 things or more.
National somethin' somethin' day galore!
Today we honor hammocks and penuche fudge, whatever that is.
Yesterday was junk food like chips, pretzels and cheese whiz.
Food seems to be the most common on the slate.
Cause we Americans love to fill our plate!
We have hot dogs, tortes, and deviled eggs for you.
 Hoagies, chocolate shakes and lollipops too. 
Of course there's the oddities we celebrate as well.
Some of these days have got to be just swell!
The mad hatter, fight procrastination, and the teddy bear,
 The lazy moms, hug a vegetarian, and something gaudy to wear.
Who comes up with this crazy shit?
I seriously want in on it.
What's better than wearin' a party hat and tootin' your horn?
All to dedicate the day to a can of creamed corn!
So find your fave and throw a PAR-TAY.
And have a Happy National Somethin' Day!
 
 
 

Monday, July 20, 2015

A Hiking We Will Go

Last week Uncle Jeffy, Ry Guy and I went to the mountains while the college kid stayed home. Although we live in a beach town, the mountains are my happy place and bring me much peace. I mean just look at that view outside our window. For me, that is instant calm. One of our favorite activities is hiking. Thought y'all might enjoy some gorgeous scenery, as well as some funny things we saw on our hike at Stone Mountain, NC.
Duly noted!
The awesome water fall.
Let's hope Kevin and Jessica just broke up, instead of Jessica being one of the aforementioned fatalities.
Love the light shining on Ry Guy in this pic.
Now that's a stone on a mountain baby!
Somebody forgot somethin' and that striped pair has seen better days!
Break time
Uncle Jeffy relaxing at the country store after a long day's hike.
 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Friday, July 10, 2015

Feel Good Friday

Wishing you lots of rip roarin', hilarious, one sided conversations this weekend!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Questions, Questions?

It's Wacky Wednesday time and today I'm posing simple questions to you dedicated readers on two news stories that have been plastered just 'bout everywhere. First we have this lovey young lass from Georgia who assaulted her boyfriend 'cause he refused to have sex with her:
Because she was upset over not gettin' any, she went out drinkin' and came home and told her boyfriend "she fucked everyone else because he would not fuck her". Then she proceeded to assault him and her mother and threatened to kill the cops with a baby stroller. I'm tellin' ya folks female hormones be ragin'.  In the boyfriend's defense, he did tell the cops that he had already "self-pleasured" himself earlier in the day and had "no more gas in the tank". Despite her obvious meth mouth, my question is very simple. Why wouldn't he have sex with her? I thought all dudes without a medical problem were just ready to bang it out anytime. Help me out here gentlemen.
Then we have Jared, the famous Subway spokesman, whose home was just raided on suspicion of child porn. You remember this guy who lost like 200 el bees from eatin' Subway subs and walking. The feds previously arrested the executive director of his foundation to combat childhood obesity on kiddie porn charges, but they were at Jared's house yesterday taking electronics out of his home. Even Subway is keepin' a footlong distance from Jared by suspending their partnership pending the investigation. Dang, could the king of the 6 inch have visions of putting his salami in a young bun? What do you think?

Story: Here and Here


Monday, July 6, 2015

Rolling Stones Review

As I posted on Wednesday, Uncle Jeffy and I went to see the Rolling Stones concert in Raleigh. We were Stones virgins and we thought it's now or nevah before those dudes kick the bucket. I mean ya gotta go right, 'cause these guys are legends. So, here's my redneck review of the show for whatever that's worth:
Parking lot tailgating was an A plus, not only because of the stellar vino we packed, but mostly because the people watching was so phenomenal. Y'all think Keith Richards is an old geezer? You ain't seen nuthin' til you see Great Granny and Gramps in their matching capris, keds, tie dyed shirts and headbands chain smokin' their cigs and dancin' in the parkin' lot. Of course it ain't a party til someone gets busted, and we did witness a guy get escorted outta the parkin' lot in handcuffs for tryin' to pirate Stones' t-shirts of all thangs.

Now the warm up act was a local yocal North Cackalacky band called the Avett Brothers who have quite a following in these here parts. Our plan was to skip the warm up 'cause that style of music just ain't our cup of tea. When we got to our seats, the banjo playin' brothers were still jammin' and only about 1/3 of the stadium was filled. Despite the fact that I would rather stick my head in a pail of vomit than listen to country music, I also rarely feel sorry for anybody, but I'm tellin' ya folks, I actually felt sorry for those country crooners. Very few people were payin' attention to them, and in a place that seats 60,000 only about 100 people were applauding. So, I clapped and even gave a hearty Whoop Whoop. Sure it was a pity clap, but it was a clap nonetheless. I'm gettin' soft in my old age.
Then on came The Stones and by then every single seat was filled. The energy was electric. I apologize for the blurred images, but for 250 bucks per ticket the closest you get is the jumbotron. Uh yea, front row seats were goin' for like two grand. Now let me preface my review by sayin' that I was expecting greatness because of the legendary status of the group. I do believe I set my standards too high. The music was spot on, and Mick still has "the moves like Jagger", but they do not engage the crowd. They are not performers, they do not have a fancy schmancy set, they don't tell funny stories, they simply play their music. While some folks may say "less is more", I do agree in most cases, but not when it comes to a concert. When I think of the best concerts I have seen I think of real entertainers like Bon Jovi, AC/DC, Kid Rock, and Harry Connick Jr. And ya can't blame it on their age 'cause I saw Cher just last year and she had a contraption where she flew across the stage, changed costumes like 5 times, was funny as hell, and when her show was over I didn't want it to end. Dare I even say it, but Uncle Jeffy and I were actually bored and decided to leave the concert a tad early to beat the traffic. So, I guess ya gotta give me a little somethin' somethin' more than just the basics if I'm payin' the big bucks to see ya live and in person 'cause I can just listen to music at home for free. Know what I'm sayin'?
But I will say, at least from where we were sittin', Mick and Keith did not look that bad. I can't comment on what they might look like up close without any stage make-up on, but seriously, there were way scarier folks at our free hotel breakfast buffet the next mornin' wearing Rolling Stones' t-shirts. I'm givin' the overall concert a B minus, but I'm also glad I can now cross that item off my bucket list because I truly think I would have been missing out on a once in a lifetime experience had I not gone. It was, after all, The Stones.